New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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