Where did you get a picture of my penis
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize