6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We talked him into tasing himself.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize