OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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