So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
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I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
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