guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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