Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
