I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize