I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
