no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
