im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
