shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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