She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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