Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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