what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
