his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
