i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
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