Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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