dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
