Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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