TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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