accomplished twins. life is a go
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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