I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
