dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize
