I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
