wanna go halves on a baby?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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