I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize