she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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