Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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