He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
You took a bar mat shot.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Randomize
