Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
