apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Boobs are out for the taking
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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