Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
