I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
were you high?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.