i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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