he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
