me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
