Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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