Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
