I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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