Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize