But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
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i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
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You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper