If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....