but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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