Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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