I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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