I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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