Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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