I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize