apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Women Are Tweeting Photos Of Their Underwear To Support Rape Victim Whose Thong Was Cited During Trial
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
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I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street