How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
