I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
