i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
