hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
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