K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
