he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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