somebody snuck up and got me drunk
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Randomize
